None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're Not.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass but I'll help you up.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.