From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.
"Most communication experts now believe that almost 90 percent of what we say comes from nonverbal cues, which includes our body language," says Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language.
Body language, she explains, is everything from our facial expressions, to eye contact, to our gestures, stance and posture. While the nuances of body language are complicated, there are some common body language signs worth a thousand words.
What are some of the basic body language cues that we display and what kind of effect can they have on the impression we make on other people? Here's a beginner's guide to understanding what our bodies are saying:
Handshakes. A handshake can say so much more than, "Hello. Nice to meet you." "The most important part of a handshake is palm-to-palm contact," Wood says. "It's even more significant than the grip."
The palm-to-palm contact expresses an intention of honesty and openness and says that your interaction will be sincere and non-threatening.
The "limp fish" handshake seems so uncomfortable because it usually means that the palms don't touch.
Here are other handshake types:
Using Body Language to Your Advantage
"If you want to better manage your own body language, you need to think about every aspect of your day and how you behave."
While you might think you are friendly person, if you go straight to your office and avoid eye contact with anyone, it can send the wrong signals to your co-workers.
Go through your morning routine—what you do at lunch, how you spend your afternoon and evening—and ask yourself questions like: Do I smile? Do I make appropriate eye contact with people? Once you better recognize your body language, you can start to manage it in a more meaningful way.
On the flip side, how can you use the body language of others to your advantage? Most important is to trust your gut.
"Body language says so much that you can use it to gauge the sincerity of what a person is saying".
If a person is telling you something, and he's covering his mouth, he might be lying. If a person's hands rub from his forehead down across his face, he could be wiping away an emotion, like stress or anxiety. Either way, if what a person is saying contradicts his body language, your intuition might be picking up on something that is not quite right.
Still, whether you are trying to manage your body language better, or understand that of others, remember the value of words.
"If you become too attentive to body language, instead of what you are saying or someone is saying to you, you miss out on the larger process of communication.".
Body Language Put to the Test
A basic understanding of body language, combined with verbal communication, can come in handy in almost every situation in your daily life. Here are some common scenarios in which body language can have a big impact, plus tips for putting your best foot forward while you watch what others around you are saying with their silent signs.
First dates. First dates are laden with body language signs that can help you gauge whether a person is interested.
"Men tend to talk a lot on first dates when they're interested in a woman," Wood says. "If you're interested back, make eye contact and listen."
If either person isn't interested and looks around the room and avoids eye contact, that's a sign that a second date isn't likely.
Other first-date tips?
"When men touch a woman on the small of her back to walk her through a door, that's a sign of confidence and interest," Wood says.
For women, it's the length of their touch that measures their interest. While short, less-than-a-second touches are appropriate, touches that are too long could convey an intimate meaning.
Job interviews. First and foremost, don't sit down while you wait for your interviewer to come and greet you; it puts you in an awkward position where you have to stand and gather yourself and your belongings in an odd sort of shuffle.
"Instead, stand and wait or sit on the arm of a chair," Wood says. "And when your interviewer arrives, make eye contact, raise your eyebrows slightly in acknowledgement, smile and then shake hands."
During the interview make eye contact when listening to show your interest, but don't stare. Sit up in your chair instead of slouching, and when you're done, leave strong by giving a good, palm-to-palm handshake.
Dinner with the in-laws. "One of the most important body language signs you should convey during your first encounter with your partner's parents is eye contact with your partner," Wood says.
Your partner's parents want to know that you are interested in and care for their child. The best way you can tell them that you are "the one" is to look at your partner with love and affection.
