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sv_iv (Svetlana)

How To Make Women Happy...

Jul 15, 2008, 07:46 PM [Reply]


The Point System
(advice for men according to women)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:


You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:


You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:


You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:


You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:


You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:


You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)


The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"


You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself

trogan2000

Jul 16, 2008, 03:57 AM [Reply]

most men after that would be -1 billion - voted

Reply

I aim to misbehave. The Doc Just Got Sooooo Much Better. Let's be bad guys.

levied (levy)

Jul 16, 2008, 04:33 AM [Reply]

well, actually this system is made for getting -points, for man.

'cauz you can't satisfy a woman forever, no matter how hard you've been working.

Amaximus (Smoochies)

Jul 16, 2008, 04:55 AM [Reply]

haha, that was really funny Sveti. "You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)" I laughed out loud. However, it's not really true, a guy can do all sorts of those things and depending on how good he can make you feel, emotinal connection, you can overlook a lot of the misdemeanors.

SPAWN31 (SPAWN)

Jul 16, 2008, 07:42 AM [Reply]

Now you have shown me that making my girl happy is more a loose thing than a winning thing LoL BUT it is a GR8 post I will try my best You got my VOTE

TheBlueKnight

Jul 16, 2008, 03:16 PM [Reply]

I'll try to remember....

fyssas

Jul 16, 2008, 07:02 PM [Reply]

well i'm a guy, and i backup this system...

what ever you do for her, if she likes you get some points, if she doesn't you loose alot of points...thats the relation you always loose more than you win xP they (women) are difficult :X it's true, and most of them (women) know it and say it too! but they don't say it to us (men)...so we "just" (as it was easy) have to do more things they like, but those things are always changing -.-"

___

the last 2 cracked me xD

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

well...at least I got +80!! :p

The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

so...we should ignore????? cause...if we say "naa you're not fat!" you don't believe it, if we say "hmm a little bit, but it's fine, i love you and you're still beautifull" you go "awww thanks ^^" while thinking <damnit tomorrow i'm going to sign up in the gym> or something like it...

personaly, facing this question, I answer "fat? you? where? your pockets?" whit my face of -.-" (bcause in my opinion when you ask this one you're trying to screw us xP)

ps: MEN - don't buy them roses, especialy red ones...it's a cliche...old fashioned...buy other kind of flowers...

voted :P

i did this :X

pronaholtz

Jul 17, 2008, 12:20 PM [Reply]

GREAT POST

have my vote

We can feel that we cannot see .

lordhumangus

Jul 17, 2008, 01:01 PM [Reply]

Hallo Svetlana nice post. But i want to add some general stuff wich are really bonuses :

* open the car door when she want to step in (+200)

* open a door for her and let her go first trough the door (+300)

* buy some flowers once a while (+500)

* cook a diner as a suprise (+1000)

Reply

  • 2008-07-17 14:36:20
  • sv_iv (Svetlana)

  • Thank you very much for the add.... i agree with you

  • If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself
  • 2008-07-17 17:51:50
  • Anidom

  • I love the dinner and flowers idea. My man would definately get points for those if he ever thinks of them.

Anidom

Jul 17, 2008, 05:50 PM [Reply]

nice point system. Ha Ha enjoyed I voted

monti_84

Jul 18, 2008, 12:59 AM [Reply]

hahaha...it is not worth all that work...single is the way...

"To define is to limit" Oscar Wilde

Sunderas

Jul 20, 2008, 12:17 AM [Reply]

Already knew this one, but still it's cool. ;)

nero89

Jul 20, 2008, 06:09 AM [Reply]

ill keep that in mind

inheaven88

Sep 24, 2008, 12:02 AM [Reply]

scary point system....

 

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