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new computer Diagnosis Machine funny

New Computer Diagnosis...

Jan 06, 2009, 08:40 AM [Reply]

New Computer Diagnosis Machine

 

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to this new computer at the local store of his that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the local drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:"You have tennis elbow.Soak your arm in warm water.Avoid heavy lifting.It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard.Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine.Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.They aren't yours.Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Jan 06, 2009, 09:21 AM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-01-06 16:54:38
  • Christara(5034355)
  • cheers for the comments glad ya liked it,...cool.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

MaeLin

Jan 06, 2009, 06:10 PM [Reply]

Dude I’m laughing my inside out......it’s really good.

Reply

  • 2009-01-07 07:21:37
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee hee glad ya liked it mate,... cool

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Jan 07, 2009, 07:45 AM [Reply]

man this is very cool !!!i voted !

Reply

  • 2009-01-07 07:57:31
  • Christara(5034355)
  • cheers mate,..glad ya liked it,..it is funny,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

General Ursu

Jan 08, 2009, 03:50 AM [Reply]

curiosity killed the cat!

I heard it in Greek version and laughed

but also I laughed again in English version.

It's really funny my friend,bravo!!

Reply

  • 2009-01-08 06:52:47
  • Christara(5034355)
  • thankyou so much for the lovely comments so appreciated,..cheers,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you know they are there!

Jan 08, 2009, 06:55 PM [Reply]

christara;

honest to god I was roflmao and I thought I was going to pee my pants from laughing so hard...

OMG, thank you for the great post...

hugs,

DAM4194

DAM

Reply

  • 2009-01-09 07:26:27
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee cheers mate,e for the cool comments,.

    have a great day,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

LAUGH, LOVE & LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!!! Hugs, DAM4194 DAM

Jan 10, 2009, 06:12 AM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-01-10 14:08:12
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee glad ya liked it mate,..cool.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Jan 10, 2009, 03:00 PM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-01-10 18:48:43
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee cheers mate,....LOL

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

FIRST IS FIRST SECOND IS NOWHERE ENJOY LIFE

Jan 12, 2009, 09:51 AM [Reply]

heehee now that is funny I voted

Reply

  • 2009-01-12 13:21:11
  • Christara(5034355)
  • haa haa so glad ya enjoyed it,...hee hee pretty funny,

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Kathy

Jan 12, 2009, 03:43 PM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-01-12 17:41:31
  • Christara(5034355)
  • cheers and thanks for the comments,.

    glad ya liked it,..heee

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Jan 13, 2009, 12:57 PM [Reply]

that was cool where can i find a computer like that vot for it

Reply

  • 2009-01-13 16:02:58
  • Christara(5034355)
  • heee heee so glad ya liked it,...maybe they,ll get one near you in a super market,..haa haa

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Sometimes our dark and tormented soul is like a helium balloon trying to float away from this world...

Jan 16, 2009, 10:31 AM [Reply]

VOTED MY FRIEND SENIOR COLONEL.

Reply

  • 2009-01-16 13:35:47
  • Christara(5034355)
  • nice one my friend cool,..

    also glad you liked it,

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

hello my oxigen73

Jan 18, 2009, 12:17 PM [Reply]

heeee heee !!! it's too funny, i liked & i voted.

Reply

  • 2009-01-18 13:22:21
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee glad ya liked it.cooooooooooooooooooool.haa haa haa

    cheers for the comments,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Fredexpert, to serve you

Jan 20, 2009, 06:32 AM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-01-20 08:44:38
  • Christara(5034355)
  • hee hee cool picture,...cheers for comments and the vote,...

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Check out my sig oh yeah nnnnhhhhhh

Jan 26, 2009, 03:20 PM [Reply]

hey there bud long time not been here[img]http://image.blog.bitcomet.com/postpic/20080219/4973101_ftlziv080219062527.gif/img]

Reply

  • 2009-01-27 05:58:50
  • Christara(5034355)
  • yer mate it shows with the image ya left,..hee hee

    hope you,ve been doing well.

    chat ya soon,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

To all the fantastic people on bitcomet love you all

Apr 14, 2009, 08:26 AM [Reply]

cool!! i voted

Reply

  • 2009-04-14 17:00:37
  • Christara(5034355)
  • for the comments and vote,..cool,.glad ya liked the post,.

    have a great day,.chat ya soon,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

tyty

Apr 24, 2009, 11:18 AM [Reply]

:D

Reply

  • 2009-04-24 14:34:27
  • Christara(5034355)
  • for the comments and vote,..cool,.glad ya liked the post,.

    have a great day,.chat ya soon,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

turchinu sin'à a morte è ancu dopu! forza bastia per sempre!

May 26, 2009, 12:54 PM [Reply]

Reply

  • 2009-06-28 18:20:33
  • Christara(5034355)
  • for the comments and vote,..cool,.glad ya liked the post,.

    have a great day,.chat ya soon,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Never forget that I'm your friend.

Jul 19, 2009, 05:57 PM [Reply]

Funny

Reply

  • 2009-07-20 05:26:43
  • Christara(5034355)
  • so much for the vote and comments,..

    have a good one,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

You have to be young and dumb before you can be old and wise.

Mar 29, 2010, 03:05 AM [Reply]

Funny

Reply

  • 2010-04-08 05:16:11
  • Christara(5034355)
  • have a good one,.

    all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

    take care

    laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

Greetings Bas

 

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